Exploring Eastward – Navigating Japanese and Indian Literature this Summer

In the quiet corners of my home, amidst the sun-kissed pages of my novels or my well used iPad Screen, I find solace and embark on wondrous journeys through time and space. Over the years my summer reading habit has blossomed into a cherished ritual, a delightful escape from the everyday humdrum, and this year, my literary wanderings have taken me to the enchanting land of Japan, where I have savored the works of remarkable Japanese authors. Three weeks into my summer break, like a stream finding its way, I have enrolled in a course offered by the University of Tokyo, seeking to immerse myself further in the captivating tapestry of the ‘Visual and Literary Culture of 19th-century Japan.’

As I sit in my room captured by the stories that grace my shelves,I am transported to a world where the ordinary intertwines with the extraordinary. The delicate brushstrokes of Japanese literature find resonance with my thoughts and beliefs

In the tapestry of my mind, the vibrancy of familiar Indian writers i read earlier this year, intertwines effortlessly with the evocative artistry of Japanese storytellers. Just as the scent of spices dances through the air, mingling with the fragrance of cherry blossoms, so do the narratives of two diverse cultures merge within my imagination. The words of Murakami and Mishima blend with those of Lahiri and Rushdie, creating a symphony of emotions and experiences that transcends borders.

As I delve into the 19th-century visual and literary culture of Japan, I am struck by the profound connection I feel. The delicate brushwork of ukiyo-e prints mirrors the intricate descriptions found in the works of Indian authors. The gardens and landscapes depicted in these art forms, meticulously crafted with delicate strokes, evoke the same sense of serenity as the tranquil verses of Mulk Raj Anand, Naidu or Tagore.

Through my summer reading, I have come to appreciate the boundless beauty of diverse cultures and the transformative power of literature. Each page turned is an invitation to explore, to expand my horizons, and to savor the wonders of the human imagination. My reading habit  has become a gateway to understanding, a vessel that carries me across time and space.

In the gentle embrace of my favorite white reading chair, with a cup of chai in hand, I find myself immersed in a world where cultures converge, where words paint vivid landscapes, and where the joys of discovery never cease. This summer, as I embark on my journey with the University cohort, I know that my heart will be filled with a profound appreciation for the power of learning and storytelling, a gift that transcends physical distance and connects kindred spirits.

Growing up Anglo-Indian

Growing up Anglo-Indian, I always found it difficult to explain to friends why my mother tongue was not Hindi or Bengali.

‘’How can it be English?’’ They would ask incredulously. 

‘’It is’’, I would try to explain. ‘’I’m Anglo Indian’’.

“So you’re one of those half-castes?”

Not quite sure how to respond to their genuine questions that were often laced with deeply-ingrained prejudices and derogatory connotations, I would mumble something about being Anglo-Indian, and how I experienced life.

The history books record how most Anglo-Indian’s left India when the country gained independence. They probably identified more with the British, and so fled to other commonwealth nations. I understand that the Anglo’s were “anglicised” so to speak, and although they must have had positive relationships with everyone around them, there may have been such distinct cultural differences that it set them securely apart. It seems like over time, the community cherry picked the British and Indian ingredients it wanted and created its own cultural recipe. One that I inhertited from my parents and grandparents.

On reflection, I can see that cherry picking is a habit I have inherited too. I suppose that being raised by a parents who identified with a certain culture means that it has been passed down, and I have also plucked out, experiences, foods and stories that have kept the Anglo-Indian-ness alive within me. But my parents also ensured I had a very cosmopolitan childhood. None of my closest friends were from the community, we rarely attended those big parties and Christmas-eve events, I have never been to the Bow Barracks, I don’t jive, my taste in food is multicultural, I am a die-hard Bollywood fan, I scored a 92% in ICSE Hindi as opposed to 78% in English, and I have no distinct affinity for anything particularly Anglo, other than food.

So, am I just all Indian? Am I a heady mix of two cultures? How Anglo am I really? More importantly, does it matter? There are many who preserve the culture fiercely, I am not one of them. Many desperately hope that some day, they will be able to articulate the label they identify with. Again, I am not one of those people. Being Anglo hasn’t led to me having particularly better opportunities, support or guidance from the community. It’s not a badge of honour I wear on my lapel, and I understand that’s not a popular opinion to have. Growing up Anglo Indian was to actually grow up surrounded by questions about my identity, it was about being pricked by stereotypes regularly, and being judged for a perceived lack of aspirations and personal growth, none of which I enjoyed and actually worked so hard to shed.

This morning I listened intently to Barry O’Brien’s message to the community on the occasion of World Anglo Indian Day. O’Brien is articulate and has that deep baritone I enjoy listening to whenever he speaks. However, I couldn’t help but reflect on how his message was predominantly about the community’s history, heritage, it’s glorious heyday and even though there was an emotional appeal to adults to look after the youth, there was no mention of concrete plans to actually invest in the lives of younger Anglo-Indians who can make a difference to the community. To be fair to him, how much can you outline in eight minutes anyway?

Our leaders however, still quote successes like Englebert Humperdinck, Ben Kingsley, Freddy Mercury and Sir Cliff Richards as our own. But the list of icons ends there. The success stories don’t overflow into contemporary history. Despite a generous spattering of Whitney Houston lyrics, clichés and platitudes in O’Brien’s speechthis morning, there was no actual strategy or action plan outlined to preserve the culture or support younger members in achieving a better tomorrow not just for themselves, but for the community at large. Actually, there has never been any strategy and it doesn’t seem like there is one today when our national leaders have arbitrarily removed our representatives from the Lok Sabha citing horrendously inaccurate statistics from a census taken years ago. Then again, what exactly did our representatives do for us while they held those esteemed positions? There isn’t even an accurate and updated register for how many of us exist. How did they know who they were representing?

I suppose that’s why I struggle with feeling a deeper sense of belonging than I currently have. My community, has lived on its laurels for as long as I can remember. Its leaders have perpetuated the success stories of the past and glorified its legacy in the fields of medicine, education, and engineering. But the pride ends there, we’re so firmly rooted in our history that we forgot to think of and plan for the future. Today, Anglo Indian teachers and principals in our schools do little or nothing to nurture the young or support their dreams and goals and most of our initiatives lack the research or intellect that can provide the catalyst to preserve and cultivate the identity of a peripheral group in the way others have effectively done across the world.

I’m a fourth generation Anglo-Indian, and honestly I believe that our community is so well integrated into Indian culture now that very negligible borders or constraints exist. Perhaps the only difference one notices is when people hear my name for the first time, or when they comment on the quality of my spoken English.

India is a land of opportunity for those who can set aside petty communal issues, work hard and innovate despite the many challenges. The same goes for all Anglos today. We are so much more Indian and so much less Anglo, than we ever were before. As long as there is no concerted effort to rally the troops, device a stratagem, invest in people and work with a singular and progressive focus, the community will continue to disintegrate, and its numbers and unique culture will fray at the edges till a wonderful fabric is unrecognizable patchwork.

The youth are indeed the future of the community like O’Brien rightly reminded us this morning, but I wonder what our leaders are actually doing to equip, empower and inspire them to make a tangible difference in the years to come. 

This Day, That Year ❤

1st July, 2017

We have left Paris behind us and have now crossed over into Germany. Ahead of us the Black Forest region of Triberg beckons and I still can’t believe I’m here.

Travel allows for sitting meditation. The mind luxuriates in the kind of tranquility that only an open road can bring. The soul too finds its opportunity to breathe. It inhales deeply and exhales slowly as it releases months, sometimes years of bottled feelings. Some, just simple emotions, others complex, with jagged edges.

As the countryside swooshes by in swirls of green the mind relaxes. There are no thoughts today, no worries, no plans, no tasks to be completed, no words to be spoken, nothing. Clear. Like the highway itself. There’s only a sense of profound appreciation for the moment.

It’s a funny paradox, every minute advances you further towards journey’s end and yet, the feeling is that of calm and stillness. Almost like an out of body experience, the real you floats above in the ether watching the physical you make your way from point to point on a map, stopping intermittently for little bursts of reality before you retreat again.

I wonder why we need a periodic escape to feel alive like this. Why does it take a visa to a strange city or verdant wilderness to rediscover sides of you that you don’t see enough. Why does one feel more at home exploring far flung places, than when at home itself?

The company of friends though valuable sometimes pales in comparison to the company of strangers. There are no expectations here, no masks, just you, enjoying the intimacy of a fleeting moment shared. It’s kind of incredible how potent an encounter can be. Words spoken, experiences shared, all of them live on with you. Like keepsakes they remind you of something special, you feel alive again, you imagine that moment over and sometimes you break out into smile. When you least expect it, the sounds of a familiar tune or the mention of a city will brighten up your day.

Everything you experience becomes a part of who you are. Like a patchwork quilt you begin to add bits and pieces till you’re left with a fabric of mismatched colors. There’s no uniform patter in the stitches, it looks ragged and lacking the finesse that comes from the hands of an expert. But the stitches are special to you, each one carefully done, holding together the myriad memories. There is love in every detail, special nuances that only catch your eye.

You think your patchwork is a thing of beauty, so you display it proudly like a fine tapestry. While everyone else examines, and speculates and conjectures, you listen, amused. You chuckle sometimes, you smile even when a random comment touches a nerve. You know what the quilt represents. Only you know.

Travel experiences are beautiful, spiritual even, they entertain, nourish and heal. Plans are great, but sometimes not knowing can be exhilarating too. You miss the ones you love but you carry them with you wherever you go. Home, afterall is no longer a physical space. Home is a feeling.

When you travel you leave parts of you in all the places you go but you carry with you so much more than you realize. All of it becomes part of who you are, it stays with you and suddenly everywhere begins to feel like home.

An Interview with MTV India’s Coolest VJ

Earlier this month I had the distinct pleasure to interview Malaika Arora for GRAZIA Magazine’s May 2022 Cover Story. Our meeting was riddled with technical difficulties exacerbated by poor WiFi, where Arora was spending a lazy Sunday afternoon with family. Although interrupted by staccato phrasing over a Zoom call, when we finally met, she was calm, cheerful, and generous with her time and responses.

Click on the link to read the interview. Interview with Malaika Arora

Cover of GRAZIA Magazine – May 2022

White Noise

It’s been a while since I blogged.

It’s been a while since I went to the beach on a Friday morning.

It’s been a while since I last made myself coffee using the percolator or my mocha pot.

It’s been a while since I journaled about travel memories.

It’s been a while since I wrote some micropoetry.

It’s been a while since I posted something on social media.

It’s been a while since I read a whole book.

It has actually been quite a while since I indulged in everyday routines that would otherwise bring me peace and tranquility but, it’s not like I haven’t tried.

I have tried to blog, but I usually end up grimacing at my patchwork phrases and deleting wasted words.

I’ve set my alarm for 5:00 am on a Friday, but when it rings, I just cannot will myself to leave the bed.

I make instant coffee these days and gulp it down without a thought for flavor, texture, aroma, or mouthfeel.

I haven’t looked at old photographs of faraway places and tried to relive that feeling of being so safe and happy in a strange continent or country.

Interesting things don’t seem to catch my eye as regularly these days and my leather-bound parchments haven’t seen the light of day.

Social media feeds have begun to feel like pretentious humdrum.

And books … sigh, let’s just say ‘Tsundoku’ is now a way of life.

I recently read a quote from John Green, the author of ‘The Fault in Our Stars’, that perfectly encapsulates what reading means to me. He wrote, “Reading forces you to be quiet in a world that no longer makes place for that.”

Unfortunately, I have a very noisy brain, one that doesn’t stop chattering no matter how nicely I ask it to stop. Things like mindful breathing and meditation are a nightmare. But place a book in my hands, and I can sit quietly for hours while the rest of the world falls away. Or so I used to think.

Last year I read 40 books. I used every available opportunity to squeeze in a few pages because reading is my primary form of self-care, the thing I turn to just as much when I’m happy as when I’m not. Just last month I purchased and piled three books by my bedside table, sadly I haven’t even read one.

Do you ever feel like life gets too loud sometimes? There seems to be constant white noise, never ending mental chatter and an over-powering fatigue that comes from keeping up with this over-stimulated way of living. This is a live-out-loud world. Nothing is done quietly anymore. There are such a few opportunities to be in solitude and silence, and when there are some, we find ourselves bombarded by stimuli or exhausted from high-decibel living and working.

I think the world needs to learn how to turn the volume down, turn the background music off and take all the extraneous noise and mute it for a while. No notifications, no pings from emails and instant messages, nothing.

I used to be a master of tuning everything out and making time for things I loved, but lately not so much. I have promised myself to get back to my everyday routines, even if it is a simple act of taking seven minutes to brew my coffee in a mocha pot and listening to the gurgling liquid coming through.

I don’t know if it will work or if I will be able to sustain some of these mindful practices. But at least I can try, no?

Rainy Day Daydream

Morning did not arrive with the usual chirping of birds, the whistle of the garbage collector or someone in the neighborhood blowing their conch shell. The rain has been relentless and has muted every other sound since late last evening. After days of looking skywards and asking, ‘when will it rain?’, the rain Gods have responded generously with the downpour now even settling into a bit of a rhythm.

My mind goes back to last evening when I spent nearly four hours sitting outdoors listening to the sheets on rain washing over our complex, the acrylic panels that cover the windows of neighboring homes and the leafy overgrown foliage that falls lazily over our compound wall. At peace and reading my Joel Rosenberg novel to nature’s background score could be what ‘bliss’ feels like, I think to myself.

Engrossed by the characters I have been reading about, a strange realization punctuates my thoughts – I think we are the stories we tell ourselves; a little bit of fact, a whole lot of fiction to feel good and even a bit of fantasy to escape from reality. We see ourselves like characters don’t we, ever trying to fine tune the plot, the narration, the reality. I’ve seen some villains and monsters in my life, leaders, and visionaries too and a few jesters here and there. They’re all the protagonist in their own tales. I am too, in mine.

Do seasons have an unsettling impact on you, year after year? It’s not always the disturbing kind of effect, rather some inexplicable transition in the overall mood and essence of living. It might not happen to everyone, but I’d like to believe that seasons and climates stir and muddle a lot of emotions in me as evidenced by this very stream of consciousness reflection.

We are already more than halfway through 2021 and I have experienced two seasons – the extreme summer of the Emirates and the monsoon in Calcutta. I’d love to spend the autumn somewhere in Europe and the winter in the UK with endless opportunities to admire nature’s beauty.

As I type this, my dog sniffs at my ankles, he’s letting me know his water bowl needs to be refilled and that reality doesn’t care about my daydreams. I may never have that European autumn experience or Christmas on a snow lined Oxford Street, but luxuriating in just the though of it was a perfect start to my day.

How to Talk to Children About Racism

A journalist friend recently reached out to talk to me about an incident at her son’s school. A conversation about race and how to talk to children about racism ensued. This evenings National Newspaper has me looking at conversations about race through an educators lens for @TheNationalNews.

https://www.thenationalnews.com/lifestyle/family/how-to-talk-to-children-about-racism-start-early-often-and-in-an-age-appropriate-way-1.1157526

Burnt Sugar by Avni Doshi

After three long weeks, I finally managed to complete reading Avni Doshi’s ‘Burnt Sugar’. The novel’s Man Booker nod and Doshi being a Dubai resident, created quite a buzz around the book and I struggled for a while to get my hands on a copy. Halfway into the novel, I realized I was not going to be a fan. I also suspect I read ‘Burnt Sugar’ at a bad time and that I would  have appreciated it more had the circumstances around my reading been different. Readers will know what I mean.

203 pages later and I’m still quite unsure what to make of this book. While stylistically speaking, it is beautifully written, it is also needlessly intense, borderline disturbing, unsettling and lacks focus. I was never quite sure if Doshi’s intent was to explore the lasting impact of child neglect, a toxic mother-daughter relationship, a woman’s search for her sense of self or just a deep dive into the unstable psyche of two very troubled women. in fact the narrative touches on all of those themes but rarely goes beneath the surface. To misquote a line from the narrative –  (the book) halts and sputters but doesn’t reverse, and that is why the sense of incoherence in the themes left me trying to navigate my way through very, very distractedly.

Tara and Antara exert almost this opposing yet undeniable pull for one another, each trying to escape the clutches of the other and yet in some twisted way always seek the other out. Tara is suffering from early onset dementia; people, identity and actions slowly slipping away like colours fading from old photographs. Antara’s turbulent childhood has obviously had an impact on her, but alongside her unpleasant personality, Doshi presents Antara’s convoluted thoughts with such aloofness, such casual cruelty, it almost jolts you out of the book. How can a daughter, any daughter, be like this? And to be fair, the mother’s character is never given as much time and space for us to fully appreciate Antara’s emotional bankruptcy. So many sections felt laborious and unnecessary, almost as if she were trying to shock the reader with her subversive feelings. Whilst there is an overall plot arc, it digresses much too often, spiraling into incidents that don’t add to the story but rather subtract from it. I thought.

The process of typing this post, however random, made me realize I didn’t like this book very much. Aside from the writing, some sentences genuinely glittering in its finesse, there was not much I could appreciate. Do not let the abstract lavender cover with aloe vera mislead you into thinking this is some breezy read. It is deeply visceral, intense, unnerving and personally for me, one I could have done without. Look, nothign I have ever written or could possibly write will make it to the Man Booker list, so I will say this, there is certainly a good book in here somewhere, but it and the characters needed more time in the oven. In the end, I realize my criticisms are entirely a matter of personal taste, but I would have pared this back to the key relationships and taken out the malodorous wadding.

As it stands this ended up being all rather unnecessarily exhausting and a head-scratching inclusion on a Booker list and in my 2020 reading of course. On to the next one.