Friendships Fade, And That’s Okay

Note: your friends do not have to be exceptionally good looking as the picture above suggests.

808 Facebook friends,150 Twitter followers, 81 BBM contacts and over 250 names in my phonebook. Why then, does it still feel like some of the most important friendships of my life no longer exist? Have you ever wondered what happened to those good friends you had ten years ago? The ones who knew everything about you? Every single thing! One day, you’re basking in the comfort and security of your friendship and then suddenly you find yourself looking back at those times, wondering, where have they all gone?

Despite the romanticized notion of the BFF that was propagated all over the world by none other than Paris Hilton, the ugly truth is that most friendships do not last. A simple Google search will show that more than half of our friendships begin to fade over a seven year period. Shocking right? You invest so much into your friendships, emotionally and otherwise, but it’s going to start fading at some point in time.

Just like in other life-affirming relationships that we value – with our parents, relatives and pets – even our closest friendships are imperfect. Friendships are fraught with disappointments and misunderstandings—resulting in some of the highest highs and the lowest lows of our lives. The connection we feel with best friends is absolutely amazing, but when those friendships begin to erode, the sense of unease, discomfort, or loss is palpable.

Sadly, I’ve realized that friendships are not sealed with permanency. I’ve had so many close friends at so many different stages in my life. I’m still in touch with many, while there are others who I’ve lost touch with over the years. Sometimes a random memory will evoke a sudden feeling of nostalgia and a sharp pain of having let that friendship go. Other memories are the source of so much joy.

This blog post was a result of an sms from one of my closest friends. When you come to think of it, the friends that remain, inspite of everything are the only ones really worth having. It can be eye-opening, even disturbing, to see which friends are your tried and true anchors, and which ones are fleeting and temporary. It’s hard to see friendships disappear, but consider the experience a blessing anyway. Your real friends will never leave you.

In the past, I’ve made the mistake of defining myself by my friends. Do not do this. Define yourself by you and your friendships will naturally form and fade according to who you are at that moment. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have. What matters is how committed to you they really are. How much they love you and how much they love being your friend. Your true friends will stay with you – no matter what, but some friendships fade. And that’s okay. Be happy that they happened.


8 thoughts on “Friendships Fade, And That’s Okay

  1. This blog is definitely extremely useful since I’m presently creating an internet flower blog – though I’m in the beginning stages making it even now quite small, not like this site. Could I backlink to a few of the discussions here as they are very interesting. Cheers. Megan Graham

  2. I love this post Syd!…And I so agree with this: “the friends that remain, inspite of everything are the only ones really worth having.” …!!!

    Also this 😉 :” Your true friends will stay with you – no matter what, but some friendships fade. And that’s okay. Be happy that they happened.”

    So beautiful Syd!!

    And I miss you so much…Friend!!!!! 🙂

  3. So true! It is okay that friendships fade.
    And I like the part about how you must define yourself according to who you are. That’s so important. I think, sometimes, that ends up happening only after you realise that at the end of the day, whether or not there’s anyone else around you or in your life, you have only yourself to rely on.

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